The Style Count

#browninfluencer

How many Asian / Indian influencers do you follow?

How many do you engage with?

How many do you support?

How many do you admire?

Not many I'm guessing, either because a) there's not many out there or b) their following isn't substantial enough to pique your interest and they're simply not on your radar.

As an British-Indian female that is so unashamedly passionate about fashion and style, I have moments when I have to think twice about whether or not my followers will be interested in certain aspects of my life and what I'm getting up to.

Will you dis-engage when I post about Diwali?

Will you scroll past posts of my Indian wedding?

Will you turn off my stories if they reference parts of my culture?

My growth and engagement has stagnated somewhat, most likely due to 'the algorithm' but it means I'm trying to engage so much more and that's helped me realise how little I get back in return.

Accounts of larger followers that I engage with don't reciprocate, however I see their likes and comments, even follows, on lots of other accounts of a similar following to mine, only the difference is that their owner looks much more similar to them....coincidence?

Brands and inspo accounts have reposted me in the past which is always so lovely and really helps with growth. However I noted that when two of bigger High Street brands did repost me, they chose posts I uploaded where my face just happened to not be in it...another coincidence?

I'm not saying everyone on Instagram is like this, I have engaged with so many fabulous bloggers and instagrammers and influencers, but sometimes the feeling of being an outsider creeps in. I hate the thought of playing the 'race card' but I just wanted to ask the question and put my thoughts out there.

I'm am also not saying that if you're brown you won't succeed for this reason, I know that is not the case, there are so many Asian - Indian influencers / models / journalists etc out there that I am inspired by daily - Monikh, Simran Randhawa, Neelam Gill to name a few. I'm just saying it feels more challenging at times.

I'm tired of trying to remain blissfully ignorant to this and I'm tired of always putting these occurrences down to being purely a coincidence.

It may be the case that the quality of my content or my consistency just isn't there, but I work so hard to create my content the best it can be, so I find this slightly hard to believe. What about you?

I want to talk about it openly and I want to know...have any of you have ever felt the same way?

We should grow our community and we should constantly support each other even if other influencers or brands refuse to acknowledge us.

#browninfluencer

Please use the hashtag and share the post and your own thoughts on this, I would be so interested to hear what you think and would really appreciate you taking the time to let me know.

Don't forget to check out my Instagram @thestylecount where I will be using this hashtag wherever possible!

Tuesday, January 22, 2019
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The Everyday Struggle That Is.....Life

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One of my favourite, most relatable meme's of all time has to be this one:

For as long as I can remember I have always had a never-ending to-do list, there is always a store return to be done or clothes to be washed or dinner to be made or a friend's birthday to attend or that gym class you told yourself you would go to.

I enjoy all of those things, that's what takes up my spare time, but lately it is just exhausting keeping up with it all. Sometimes I find myself thinking, something has got to give...but what?! In reality I don't feel like anything will give, in actual fact I think my time will be even more thinly spread when my husband and I think about the future and houses and kids and careers and making ours goals and dreams possible.

But how can you aspire to achieve bigger goals when most of the time it feels like you're just about keeping on top of the day-to-day things? How can you even think about pushing yourself further when you're just about staying afloat at the moment?

I vividly remember my weekday evenings when I used to live in London. After finishing work I would get home and constantly be in a mad dash making my dinner and lunch for the next day and packing my gym kit and putting a load of washing on, making sure all my jobs got done, and my flatmate would be sat on the sofa feet up with a cup of tea watching TV and relaxing and I used to think, why do I always have so much to do, why can't I just unwind.

I found myself going to sleep really wound up and at the time I just thought it was normal.

Recently I have had a realisation. You can keep doing 'stuff' and finding 'stuff' to do until the cows come home, but there will still be more to be done tomorrow and it's not going anywhere. It is endless.

So guess what, you are allowed to leave that washing in the basket for one more day, or not wash your hair on your proper 'hair-wash' day for once, or not iron all of your clothes...you don't have to be 'PERFECT'.

And that's my whole problem. I always strive for perfection in every aspect of life and frankly it's exhausting, de-motivating and possibly actually counter-productive. I am learning to ease up on myself, let my mind and body rest more and let myself find comfort in NOT being perfect.

The house doesn't need to be spotlessly clean every single day of the week. I don't have to take lunch from home every single day of the week. I don't have to keep in regular touch with everybody in my phonebook.

I think it is super important to step back and assess where you are. Remove anyone / anything that isn't adding value to your life. There simply isn't enough time for it.

Life is non-stop but you have to find yourself within it all. You have to make time for yourself, and practise the 'self-love' and 'self-care' that we are seeing all over our socials lately. I haven't quite mastered it yet but I am definitely making a conscious effort to work towards this and I feel so much happier for making the change.

Hope you enjoyed this read.

Be sure to check out my Instagram @thestylecount for lots of outfits and more x

Sunday, October 14, 2018
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Styling Cycle Shorts

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Tuesday, September 11, 2018
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Why I chose to delete my Facebook account

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A few months ago I made the decision to delete my Facebook account, and I mean FULL ON delete, not just a mere deactivation of my account. Pictures, status updates, friend requests....all of it was gone with just a click of a button and with not much of a second thought if I'm honest.

The main driver behind this decision was the Facebook controversy surrounding privacy that erupted a few months ago whereby it was reported that some of your personal details may have been made accessible to other companies.

After hearing the news I felt so violated and also I felt frustrated that I had become a victim to it all through being signed up to a social network that I didn't even use, much less did I need!

All of a sudden, Facebook was being invasive, and making me feel vulnerable - what information was out there about me that I don't know about?

The only thing that niggled me slightly before deleting my account was the loss of my photos, mainly from my university days - most of these were not backed-up and would be lost. However, I still went through with the deletion and lost all of those photos. Upon reflection, I wondered if subconsciously maybe I wanted to forget the certain times I went through?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved being at uni but it was without a doubt an extremely stressful and sometimes lonely time for me. I struggled with the course I was doing (Mathematics), and since I chose to live at home for my second and third year (it was not far from campus at all) it was isolating at times.

I generally associated Facebook with memories of myself where I wasn't feeling my best, where I wasn't portraying the best version of myself so deleting my account felt somewhat cleansing.

And hey, worst case scenario, I know most of my friends are still on Facebook and will have the photos on their accounts anyway.

I rarely engaged with anybody on Facebook day-to-day, I really used it only to look at the memes going around and also just to be a bit nosey!

Why am I more comfortable with Instagram then?

I share a lot more on Instagram relative to Facebook with even more people than just my friends. However, I have less of an issue with this because Facebook was more one-sided, I didn't input anything on there and equally I didn't get much out of it, so I would close the app after a quick scrolling session feeling quite negative and dissatisfied, constantly comparing myself to other people.

On the flip side, when I use Instagram I have a built-up network of users that I engage with daily and I get lots out of it as I put lots in. Instagram is more current and it's more controlled. I see more of what I want to see and less of what I don't. I get more enjoyment from engaging on Instagram where there is more of a 'community' feel and everybody is sharing the love and support.

Facebook suited me at a certain point in my life but now that I've grown older, it no longer serves that purpose, and became a form of procrastination instead.

The only downside to deleting my Facebook account so far?

I have developed a bad habit of not remembering anybody's birthdays now!

Earrings - Soru Jewellery

Dress - old Topshop

Sunday, September 02, 2018
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The Wedding Diaries (5) - Honeymooning

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Hi there!

I have to say, it feels super weird to be back here typing again...it feels as though so much has changed since my last blog post.

As you may know, I recently got married, and following our wedding, my husband and I (again, so weird!) travelled to Jamaica for our honeymoon. As I do following most of my trips, I wanted to fill you guys in a bit on where we stayed, what we did etc.

We flew from London Heathrow on Tuesday 8th May and returned on Sunday 20th May, so we were there for just under 2 weeks which was ample time for us to be to able to acclimatise, wind down (believe me, this took a couple of days!) and really enjoy ourselves.

The journey was about 12 hours as we had a brief layover, but overall the journey wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

We stayed at the relatively-new resort 'Breathless' in Montego Bay, and we also had access to the 2 neighbouring 'Secrets' resorts.

The resorts were impeccable; they were clean, modern, chic, sophisticated. Nothing was too much for the staff, every single one of them was super-friendly and hospitable.

There was tonnes of food options, from traditional Jamaican food, to French, Italian and Indian cuisine. There was always lots of entertainment to keep us...entertained. For example, every single day at 3pm, there was a foam party in the hotel pool which says it all really!

I guess the best way to summarise my review of the resort is to say we would definitely stay here again.

We ventured out of the resort a few times.

Before we left for Jamaica, a few people heavily recommended that we visit Negril beach and we were so glad for it. It was a beautiful, authentic beach where we ate fresh jerk chicken and met some locals.

Also, we stopped by Rick's Cafe, one of the most famous cliffside bars known for its views of the sunsets whilst some people cliff dive. I would tell everyone visiting Jamaica to go there, it was such a fun and memorable evening.

One thing we hadn't been told much about prior to our trip was Dunnes River Falls. We visited the falls and actually climbed them as part of a group. This was enjoyable, and a way to break up an otherwise super-lazy trip. It wasn't too strenuous but got us moving and walking. In terms of the actually falls, to be honest, it wasn't hugely overwhelming but as I say, it was a nice way to break up the trip.

Finally I just wanted to let you guys know about the weather. We knew we were going during monsoon season but we figured it would rain for an hour or so a day and quickly dry up......nope.....I would say we had 2-3 hours of torrential downpour for about 5 days spread out during our trip which was not the best, but we weren't complaining! When it was hot, it was hot but mostly it was humid and cloudy on the days with no rain.

That's about it from me but if you want to know anything more about our honeymoon in Jamaica, leave a comment below and I will get back to you. X

P.S. Apologies for the lack of photos, I was very lazy with shooting while we were there through pure exhaustion following the wedding madness, but there are more pics from the trip on my Instagram @TheStyleCount

Tuesday, June 05, 2018
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The Wedding Diaries (4) - Pre-Wedding Thoughts & Feelings

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The months of planning are finally done...

The table plan has been tweaked and perfected...

The suitcases are all packed...

The big day is only days away and I am feeling quite reflective so I thought it would be a good idea to share my thoughts and feelings this close to my wedding, as it'll be another keepsake of the whole process.

On the 5th May 2018, I will become somebody's wife, marry my soulmate and begin a new chapter in my life. But how do I feel about it all? As a British-Indian girl, getting married is not just about getting married. There's so many other feelings and emotions to consider, as there is so much more going on in the periphery.

Integrating into another family

It is customary to live with your husband's family following the wedding, which we are planning to do. It will be nice to forge those new relationships and get to know each other better (and also save some money!) but I do feel nervous about it all, which I think is quite natural from speaking to other girls that have gone through the same thing. It's one thing getting to know my husbands habits and moods, but it's another getting to know his parents' too...and equally them getting to know mine. It's going to be a process to find the new comfort zone in the new chapter that we are all entering together.

Although since Ricky and I met, I have gone away on holiday with his family and spent lots of time at his family's house so we aren't too far away from this!

Leaving my old routine, moving out of my parent's home and my childhood bedroom

This definitely generates sad feelings for me to the point that I could honestly cry every time I think about it (and probably will cry buckets on the actual day) but I know it's something every girl has got to go through, and that change is absolutely necessary in order to grow.

It's the little things about living with my parents that I will most the most, things like my dad deicing my car for me!

Although I am SO sad, I am immensely thankful for everything my parents have done to get me to where I am today and I know that realistically I could not live with them forever, it's a way of life, I have to flee the nest in order to make my own.

Towards the actual wedding day and whether it all goes accordingly to plan

There have been a lot of highs and lows to get to this point, I have been the most laid-back, almost uncaring bride-to-be and I've also been full-blown Bridezilla mode. It's been a crazy, emotional rollercoaster with tears and tantrums (mainly from my side) but also lots of giggles and laughs under the pressure of it all.

Ultimately, seeing all my friends and family come together and hearing how excited everybody else is to attend our wedding, having people travelling from Singapore and Canada to celebrate with us is definitely a special feeling.

I am beyond excited for the wedding week. I break up from work the week before my wedding. I am looking forward to catching up on my sleep and relaxing and seeing everything come together. I am looking forward to having that week at home and seeing my house filled with all of the people closest to me, bringing lots of love and laughter with them to see me off into married life.

Guys, it's actually surreal that it's so very nearly around the corner.

Thank-you for reading this blog post, I hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you on the other side...wish me luck!!!

Don't forget to check out my Instagram @thestylecount where you can follow all the shenanigans via Stories x

Saturday, April 21, 2018
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Why I am totalling buying into the 90's comeback

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First chokers were everywhere and everybody wore them channelling their inner Spice Girl...then came the sea of midriffs and bellybuttons as crop tops hit the high street...and slowly slowly, it seems like a 90's throwback is everywhere I turn as another 'new' old-school brand seems to make a comeback each week...

At the moment, all I am seeing in the shops and across my social media are the "ugly" dad trainers, Kappa and Ellese tracksuits, corduroy flares, denim dungarees, spaghetti slip dresses; it's giving me all of the Saved By The Bell / Friends / Sabrina The Teenage Witch vibes and I am really enjoying it.

Why?

Well, first of all it totally justifies my desire to hold onto my clothes with every intention that I WILL wear these again; everything DOES come back around eventually in one way or another.

And secondly, because as people are remembering their old styles and how they used to dress, there is nostalgia in the air.

It brings us back to thinking of times when we weren't constantly glued to our iPhones, when we didn't think twice about our safety before booking a trip away, when people engaged with each other more, when doors were left open and your neighbours were actually your friends. It reminds me of the times when we were influenced by the likes of Spice Girls promoting #GirlPower rather than the reality stars who are famous simply for being famous.

I'm not for one minute saying that the world is an awful place, it's just that lots of things have changed and some are not always for the better. BUT we do have lots to look forward to and lots to be thankful for. It's now so much easier to stay in touch with loved ones that are far away, it's now so easy to become knowledgeable about anything you want to, and I don't know about you, but I would literally be lost without my SatNav.

Other things I'm excited for include: ~The return of Love Island
~The Royal wedding
~Summertime!

I'm just saying that in the midst of Donald Trump becoming president and the looming Brexit, putting on a crop top and your old popper trousers, and knowing you're not alone can be somewhat comforting.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post.

I wonder if any of this resonated with you?

Don't forget to catch me on Instagram too @thestylecount

Until next time, thank-you for reading! x

Sunday, April 15, 2018
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#browninfluencer

The Everyday Struggle That Is.....Life

Styling Cycle Shorts

Why I chose to delete my Facebook account

The Wedding Diaries (5) - Honeymooning

The Wedding Diaries (4) - Pre-Wedding Thoughts & Feelings

Why I am totalling buying into the 90's comeback

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